For Clients and Families
A shorter version for quick use.
Type of Meeting
- In person: The best for final placement. This could be a working interview or just a meeting at a favorite community spot or at your case managers office. Hardest to coordinate. Can take days to schedule and coordinate and sometimes not all people can attend or there is traffic and other issues with timeliness. While the best for a candidate who has has initial screening done and the only question is do these two in person seem a good fit.
- Video call: This allows the personal touch of non verbal cues and reading body language and tone while also giving much more flexibility for both parties to meet. This can ensure two busy people still have a chance to meet or a person who is stepping away from one job to look at another job still has a chance to interview.
- Phone: This kind of interview is in the moment, no non verbal cues to pick up only tone and answers. This lessens certain bias and also ensure a person can have as much autonomy or movement or quiet and calm and dark as one needs to feel safe, comfortable and okay in this interaction. Also very flexible and can meet more people more quickly.
- Text/Email/Written: Good for processing speed. This allows people who have slower processing to still answer and give response and also more time to consider more relevant information. Also good for logical, analytical and deeply responsible type people. The answers will say a lot about the person in the text tone, length, information and also in the follow up time.
Environmental Considerations:
- Community – Look for places with low traffic, privacy barriers, inexpensive food or drink or no purchases needed. Restaurant, Bar, Park, Library (meeting room), case managers office, a local business with family oriented dynamics and part of client community, a store with seating, ]
- Fidget toys or sensory objects to support soothing strategies.
- Communication devices if needed – photo album or other materials to help share deliberately.
- Coping devices – headphones, ear plugs, head wear, compression based clothing, weighted clothing or blanket, etc..
The Goal
Find out four things:
- Can you and this staff person work together long term?
- Do they have the skills you need?
- Does the schedule work?
- Are you both comfortable and confident in this match?
Plan for 15 minutes to 1 hour.
Multiple meet and greets are normal.
Both sides can say no and end the meeting early, respectfully.
Ground Rules
- We don’t discriminate, harass, or target.
- We don’t compel speech, and staff use your preferred name.
- Be respectful in the meeting. Decisions come after.
Before the Meeting
- Know yourself
- Write down 3–5 values that matter most
- Notice your biases and hold them loosely
- Plan to share strong beliefs upfront
Sort your “I need” from your “I want”
- I need = essential to safety, health, or daily life
- I want = preference (biases should live here)
- Think about trauma separately from bias
- Trauma is a valid reason to set limits — you can choose when and what to share.
- Could this person fit for part of the role? As a backup? As fill-in only?
Reflect on what has worked
- List traits of staff who’ve worked well with you before.
- Notice in your body any people or situations you find uncomfortable.
Prepare your non-negotiables
- Use I-statements
- Share the non -negotiables first as a strong filter.
- Be clear either in words, writing or pictures. Prep ahead of time if needed.
Prepare your questions
- Practical: vehicle, schedule, experience
- Relationship: food, music, hobbies, personality, vibe check, conversational flow.
- Decide what name you want to be called: This could be a nick name, legal name or other fun names you like. You can be playful with this. We see pretend and play as important for growth.
- Decide non negotiables for your services: I need this day and time, I need this outcome, I need this specific goal to be something this person can help on.
Map the team
- Who does what?
- Who is backup?
- What does each person commit to?
ISP note
Anything you share may end up in your ISP inadvertently or file. You can request updates to remove information you don’t want shared. I recommend keeping details general for first call or in person meeting.
- I have trauma that I am working through. It looks like this _______ when I am triggered. (is helpful info without discussing the incident)
- I am seeing my therapist about _________. I prefer talking to my therapist about these things. (to set boundaries)
- My mom helps me through tough things I’ll talk to her if I need to. Can we focus just on the activity we are doing in the moment. (set boundaries, get back to task)
- I like your advice. I will think about it. I can choose not to take it. (practice autonomy)
- The questions you are asking make me feel afraid. Can we talk about something else or do a grounding execise. (to set boundaries)
- I’m really in my feelings now. Can we come back to this. I’ll text tonight.
- I’m overwhelmed. I am leaving the call now.
During the Meeting
- State the goal and the timeframe
- Share preferred names
- Lead with your non-negotiables
- Watch how they handle hard things
- Notice your body — tension, ease, intuition is valid information
Ask your prepared questions
- Confirm skills, schedule, logistics
- Ask the staff person: “Do you feel comfortable and confident this is a good match for you?”
- Stay respectful even if it’s not a fit
Postpone the decision and set a follow-up
- Don’t decide on the call.
- Set a clear timeframe to check in.
- Discuss details on how this looks. (Answer: when, why, what, how)
- Ex. Thanks for your time. I will text you by Monday with my decision.
- Follow up with ED or Case manager regarding provider search support needs or how to find better matches.
After the Meeting
Check in with yourself and family
- How my body feel?
- Did they treat me as capable?
- Did they respect my non-negotiables and team roles?
Check the four goal questions (see top)
Check your reasoning
Did I check my biases and make this choice based on information — not trauma or bias?
- Service delivery issue, trauma response, or bias?
- If bias, name it honestly within the family
- Your case manager, supervisor, current staffing or natural supports can help sort it out
Decide together within the agreed timeframe
- Yes, no, partial yes, backup/fill-in only, or “one more meeting”?
- Follow through on the timeline you promised — don’t ghost
- If no, name what didn’t work so the next match can be better.